A fence

I have been fencing out almost everyone I met, mostly because I was fenced in by my parents for such a long time that I have no idea how to talk to anyone, especially strangers. Also because the first time I let this one person into my fence, our friendship ended within months. I used to put all my trust in this person, I told him secrets I never dare tell anyone, even my sister. After a few months I had already sensed that something is going wrong in our friendship, yet I refused to believe it, and keep trying to fence him in by letting him do whatever he wanted to me. Although we eventually lost touch, what he did has already made me decided to set my fence up higher. Then one or two years later, I met another person, whom I tried to let him into my fence, he ended up spilling the secret to the person I told him not to tell. His apologize wasn’t sincere either, and I was so close to forgiving him after I lashed out my anger on him......

Besides strangers and most people I have encountered, I have also been fencing my family out. Mostly because I have seen my whole family’s (including my uncles’ and aunts’) relationships with one another fallen apart because we’ve spent too much time together. Before we found our own apartment, we lived at our oldest uncle’s house. Maybe because we hardly see each other before, our living habits are complete different from each other. My uncle’s wife and my father clashed on the smallest things, and after we moved out eventually, my father and uncle rarely talk to each other anymore. Or when my father and another uncle decided to buy their own house together, more and more arguments occurred as they discussed about the budget problems. Now we hardly ever celebrate any festivals together anymore, or even see each other anymore (while my uncle lives upstairs).

After seeing and going through so much trouble all because one started to ‘get closer’ to someone, or being let down by the people you trusted, I’ve come to realized that the more you try to keep someone close, you’ll see more of a different side of them, a side that is best remain unknown.